Because I Hate
by captain menolly
Summary: ... I can only hate. I run and I hate. There's nothing I can do, because being weak won't do anything.. and this is because I hate. Rewritten. Added ShadAmy! Completed.
1. I Run Into My Own Darkness

**... I can only hate. I run and I hate. There's nothing I can do, because being weak won't do anything.. and this is because I hate. (Re-written)**

I own nothing. Simple.

**Because I Hate**

**--x **Chapter One: I Run Into My Own Darkness **x--**

It was painful; so painful that I squeezed my eyes shut and forced my body on. I ran on; I ran so much I felt my lungs tighten and burn, my legs numb and body aching like the hell I was so used to. I felt my world spin as the world started to fade. But I made myself run on... because I hate. This is my punishment for everything I have done. I make myself run until I'm seemingly on the edge of death. The bliss I could never deserve... Darkness found its way into my vision once more, and first all I could see were shapes. Then shadows.. then my world went black as the familiar sensations filled my senses and I complied with a smile and a sigh. I thought about how I deserved to live.. to not be happy. But, instead, I merely punish myself.. not a generous repentment process, is it? I felt my body hit the ground as I drifted into the land of shadows. Nothing had ever been so cold. I noted this as my body and conciousness faded, leaving my mind alone as everything but it shut down from the stress.

Arms wrapped around my body. They carried me. I couldn't force myself to wake up. I was in my own world. I was gone. I was really out of touch with everything, especially reality and myself. I could hear them, feel them, but I couldn't see them.. or even speak to them... give them a sign I'm alive. But, in all actuality, I like being here. It's nice.. what I don't deserve. In fact, I hope I never wake up. And yet, I can feel a lifting sensation in my body; I'm stirring.. No. Must you take away my happiness? I'm floating now, out of the dark fog, but I try to grasp onto the dreamy sense I had. Nothing could ever give me back the ecstasy and emotions that ran through me in that state, and barely concious, I felt myself lifted once again into the terrible place I call home, but it's mostly known as life. Or reality, whichever you preferred. I hated it anyways. Just like I hate everything else..

I open my eyes. Their green color looked around the room, scanning every detail. It was obviously someone's house. Crimson walls; dents from punches; I'm on a cerise couch with a few tears in it. It is basically plain with wooden floors. I then realize that there is a blanket over me. I snuggle into it more, basking in the memory of the world I had almost claimed. I then sighed, my apple orbs still scanning the room I remained in. I looked around the room, my perspective and vanishing point changing with every small twist, turn, and shake of my aching head. It was then I felt the throbbing in my skull, and my eyes narrowed, unpleased with the result of yesterday's repentment. Caught and aching. Not a very pleasant thing, but I knew I deserved the aching. But the being caught? Please, give me one break in this black hole of life.

"I miss it." I muttered, unaware of the stare of someone else in the room, though I slightly felt the prescence.

"Miss what?" I looked over.

"Knuckles. Whaa-- what am I doing here?"

"We found you unconcious."

" We..? "

"Oh..." he blushed. "Me and Rouge." I managed a weak smile.

"Congratulations." he smirked.

"Thanks."

"Whatever.. " he opened his mouth to speak, but as if on cue, the bat girl herself walked in, beautiful as ever. Not that I myself thought so.

"So, how did you end up like that?"

"I was training. I got really tired, but I was too lazy to go home." Knuckles nodded.

"Yeah, that's what I thought from the way you weren't breathing very well. But why were you training?"

"I need to be stronger." I continued with this little lie, hoping my 'friends' would buy it.

"But you're already reall--" I cut her off.

"I need to be stronger." I then repeated.

"Hmm.. alright, but just be more careful."

"Aa." I tried to stand, but I fell back onto the couch.

"Don't move too much. Just rest." I heard Rouge say as I started to fall asleep.

"Wow.." I yawned. "You've gotten.. a lot.." another stifled yawn. "..nicer." I then fell into my bliss. My darkness. And yet all I could recall is the hatred I felt even for them.. though it wasn't as strong as it was for the others.

**--x **To Be Continued **x--**

Yes, it's being re-written and improved. You may ask why. Because this story was actually only written to vent, so I put no real effort into it. Now I'm re-doing most of it, aka adding to it and changing, as well as answering many things that were left unanswered. A lot of changes will be made. Sorry for those who hated it, even the new version, but I want to make it live up to AaB ?(now AaB II) standards. Love you guys, and read and review if you'd like. But I'm grounded, so I may not be able to get the next chap. out so easily. I'll start/finish it now. More details later as I think of what to do with this story.


	2. I Hate So Much I Bleed

**... I can only hate. I run and I hate. There's nothing I can do, because being weak won't do anything.. and this is because I hate. (Re-written)**

I own nothing. Simple.

**Because I Hate**

**--x **Chapter Two: I Hate So Much I _Bleed _**x--**

I awoke again with another startled gasp. Sweat consumed my forehead, dripping down to my muzzle as well. Feeling my icy and hating wall crumble and melt, I let out a dry sob. I could feel again, and once again, my heart was torn open. The familiar pain seeped into my bleeding heart, filling the cracks but shattering it even more as I felt the organ actually clench in my chest, my hand flying to my chest, breathing starting to speed up as my apple orbs widened with fear, pain, and shock. The bat girl came out, hand flying to her open mouth in shock as she rushed over to me, patting my back and wiping my sweat with a wet cloth she had commanded her red echidna companion to retrieve for me. I gulped down the water she offered me hungrily, taking in breaths with a pang of regret. I had just made myself live when I could have found bliss in death..

"Maybe you should go home and rest." her tone was concerned, and it made me want to gag. I immediately stood.

"Thank you both." I then left. I felt I had owed them that much. It was raining. It tickled my quills, making me want to dance. It was a strange feeling I had gotten ever since I had felt it on this earth. Scuffling my shoes down the street as I walked, I noticed a cobalt hedgehog laying on the side of the road. I walked over, looking down at him. His eyes opened. A stunning shade of emerald. Cold. But not as cold as mine. No eyes could ever be as cold as mine, save for one certain individual I would rather not discuss at the moment as I trekked down the road a bit, only thinking for a moment as I spun back 'round at hearing his first attempt to speak to me in weeks, months.. years.

"Help me." he coughed out. I glared down at him. I owed him, so I lifted him into my arms, carrying him to his house and inside. I dropped him on the couch, then got a glass of water and headache pills, setting them by him for when he woke up. I then promptly left, as cold as that is. But hey, it's the idiot's fault he got smashed and is half-sober currently, besides the fact that he is actually out cold on the white piece of furniture.

**--x **A Few Hours Later **x--**

"I hate you." I spat on the ground then, eyes narrowed dangerously and fists clenched in anger.

"But why?" my eyes then widened, face I'm sure showing pure horror and pain, and I knew that face and the glimmer in my eyes would forever be etched into his mind.

"YOU FORGOT!" I screamed.

I threw a lamp at him, the pieces of glass flying around as it hit the wall. He stepped closer, and I then took to throwing the small and large shards I could find. Soon enough, blood littered the floors and walls, painted in a beautiful array as our blood mixed even still as I continued stabbing his form. My knife dug into his chest, and I still hacked away at him, screaming at him and yelling at his dead body. Cerise fluids poured from him, now matching parts of my own fur, as blood covered as that was as well. Glad to have my revenge, I smiled as I chopped away at the hedgehog's chest, and only then did the thought hit me. I just killed Sonic the Hedgehog. My other half. Everything I wanted to be. I let out a cry, stabbing him once more and leaving the blade in his chest as I stared at his limp form.

Somehow, I felt a sickening smile light my face darkly, a bitter laugh escaping me as I stood weakly, doubling over with twisted, evil laughter. I then promptly stopped laughing, falling over myself, and the world blurred and darkened once again. I was so used to it by now, and I felt the cold fill my senses again as the last thing I felt was more blood leaking from my own body and apple eyes closing slowly in a temporary bliss of pain. This would need much repenting later, my slightly concious self noted, and my head weakly nodded, muzzle lightly stained with blood that was not my own, and the sweet cerise that _was_ my own, both so beautiful and lovely as they even mixed as they dried slowly. Everything swirled once again.

**--x **To Be Continued **x--**

Yeah, this one was shorter. ; Have you ever noticed the person in POV always ends up passing out at the end? Well, one more chapter, then the prolouge to why there is so much hate or a sequel to someone remembering why.. hmm.. enjoy or hate, and read and review if you want. By the way, I know this is twisted. -sick grin-


	3. Plunged Into My Soul

**... I can only hate. I run and I hate. There's nothing I can do, because being weak won't do anything.. and this is because I hate. (Re-written)**

I own nothing but the poems used in this chapter. I wrote them. -;

**Because I Hate**

**--x **Chapter Three: Plunged Into My Soul **x--**

Sound. So much sound, it was insane. Just like myself. Sirens, screams, sobs.. all emitted from people or furries near me. It annoyed me, and my mouth quirked downwards into a grimace, and I heard a gasp. Opening one apple colored eye, all my 'friends' were crowded around me, most crying. Cream had an accusing look in her amber-brown eyes, and for a moment, I felt shame. Thankfully, it soon passed. The doctor looked over at me, giving me a sad but disappointed look. He escorted the others over to a corner, and I knew he didn't want me to hear. I did anyways.

"She's going to die. Amy Rose will die anyways, whether this sickness would kill her or not. She killed Sonic. Anyways, she's going to die from this disease."

Yes.. I was Amy Rose. Sweet, innocent, loving, caring Amy Rose. Ignored, tortured, heartbroken Amy Rose. But what disease did he mean? I was not sick! I strained my ears to hear more as I heard Cream stifle a sob. I knew she still loved me, we were like sisters. Even though I killed the world's hero, I knew she still loved me and never would that fade. Turning my attention back to the matter at hand, I listened in once again, forcing the memories away as my body let me know that I really was going to die. It started to turn off, but I made it stay up anyways.

"We found she has a mentall illness called Schizophrenia. It was found too late within her, so she could not be treated."

"I have a few lines to say before I die." I announced. All eyes turned to me, and I sighed, taking in a deep breath.

"This is for Sonic. I wrote it.." Most raised an eyebrow as Rouge wiped a tear and Cream blew her nose quietly.

"I do my best to hide it,

I do my best to try.

I do my best to get you,

but you make me want to cry.

Am I not that pretty?

Am I not that tough?

Am I not enough of a fan?

Is my everything not enough?"

I faded slowly as eyes widened at me, and my apple orbs fluttered slowly shut as I heard whispers and accusations. They didn't know half of the story, so they had no right to say many of those things. I decided to say one last thing, the one thing that I knew would change lives forever. Especially the life of one special male.. a true, kind smile lit my sickly features as I was killed on the inside by myself, and as the innocent Amy Rose struggled against the new me, I let the words escape my mouth as my muzzle started to be stained with tears as they slid down my face.

" And one more.. for a very special hedgehog.. the one I found I love, and not Sonic.. Shadow the Hedgehog.. "

"Every day you can walk by me,

but you never really really see me stand there.

I'd offer you some hot chocolate but you'd always decline,

and sometimes I wondered if you even cared.

And yet it didn't matter,

because I loved it when you were so cold.

I fell in love with cerise eyes,

and maybe it would be different if I was once so bold.."

And I felt my heart shatter as I saw tears spill from my ice cube's eyes, cerise color shining with the water that was now steadily flowing. He made his way over to my bed, and I felt my heart lift as he planted one, single, heartwrenching kiss on my mouth, leaving me dizzy and craving more. But death was inching closer and closer, and I had one final moment to say those three words I longed to before the blade was plunged into my heart. I looked up at him, desperation evident in my eyes as they danced with pain, fear, and panic.

" I love you.. Sayonara, Shadow the Hedgehog.. "

**--x **End of Story **x--**

I love you guys! Hehe, even if no one read, I loved that ending. -sniffles- I changed it to a romance with ShadAmy! Leave me alone! -; -goes to hide in a corner- Read and review if you'd like. Stay tuned for a prequel or sequel for the explanation of Amy's hate and love for Shadow! Whoo!


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